Sunday, 25 September 2011

Quick Update and a WIP

Not too much to say this week. Not much has happened in my personal life, other than a mishap with one of Paul's organizations he's involved with. It's being taken care of, so I'm not too worried about it. I did change my name at my GP's office and my Optician's, which is good.

This week is going to be busy. Tomorrow is shopping, Tuesday is bill paying day and swimming. Wednesday I need to send off letters to utilities to inform them of my name change. On Thursday there's a meeting at Paul's school about "admission into secondary provision" that I need to attend. He'll be "graduating" out of primary school in two more years, so I need to get him on the list to a secondary school by this time next year at the latest. Then Friday is weekend shopping day and coffee morning at Paul's school. Sometime during all this I need to find time to do housework as well.

Lately in the evenings, I've been alternating playing games and crocheting. Currently, I'm working on two blankets - one for Paul and one that will be donated to HAFS (Halton Autistic Family Support) to help raise money for them. Pictures will be posted as they're finished. Today I started work on a new digital painting (shown up top). The backdrop is finished and I have the basic sketch of the couple done. Will try to finish it up before next week.

Sunday, 18 September 2011

Transgender, Judgement, and Hate

Originally, I was going to blog about my usual boring stuff - life, drawing, crocheting, how my son Paul has been enjoying school and so on. However, I've been chatting off and on (sort of) with Peter LaBarbera on Twitter about Transgenders and sex reassignment surgery and figured I would share it with you.

You may have heard of Peter LaBarbera. He is the founder of Americans for the Truth About Homosexuality ( Don't let the name fool you, AFTAH has been named a hate group by the Southern Poverty Law Centre, and the only "truth" they seem to want to spread is telling everyone who will listen that homosexuals are godless, immoral, and want to turn everyone gay and get rid of Christianity.

The conversation started when I commented on a fellow transgender's video, congratulating them on starting hormones. Peter responded with a link to The person who runs this website is "ex-transexual" Walt Heyer. Mr. Heyer, at first glance, seems to have the transgender person's best interests at heart. On his many websites (he has at least two that I've found, plus a blog, and a youtube channel), he seems to be warning about "sex change regret" which is when a transgender person undergoes gender reassignment surgery and regrets it afterwards.

This, in and of itself, is not a bad thing. Sex change regret does sometimes happen and transgender people need to be educated and told exactly what will and will not happen as a result of gender reassignment surgery. Where Walt Heyer goes wrong, and what raised a ton of red flags, is that not only is he highly recommended by the founder of a recognized hate group, but on his websites, he falsifies facts and statistics about suicide rates amongst transgender people.

On his website, for example, he states that suicide in transgender groups is over 40% (i.e. 4 out of 10 transgender people commit suicide). And he insinuates that this is a direct result of gender reassignment surgery. This is totally false. Yes, there is a suicide rate of 40% amongst transgenders, but this is amongst those who are denied treatment, who are rejected by their peers and family, and are forced to live a lie about who they really are.

In his blog,, Walt Heyer links to outdated articles to "prove" his points. The tone he uses in this blog is very judgemental, condescending, and hateful. This hateful and judgemental attitude is very apparent in his entry "Bono, the Poser Transgender" wherein he slanders Chaz Bono, Cher's transgender son, saying that

"The media has been a salivating co-conspirator in advancing little Missy Bono's big fat lie that she is a transgender, when she is not."

He bases his reasoning on this by then insinuating that because Chaz Bono has opted to not undergo genital surgery, he is not a real transgender and is faking it for attention.

As a transgender person, I know what my gender is. There is no doubt in my mind that I am bigender. I am not female, I am not male. I am both and neither. What Peter LaBarbera and Walt Heyer don't seem to understand is that transgender people don't take hormones, don't undergo surgery to become a "man" or a "woman"; we do it because we are already a man or a woman and want our bodies to reflect that.

Gender Dysphoria is very real and very uncomfortable. For some of us, dressing as the gender we feel we are is enough to keep it at bay. For others, hormones are needed and wanted to help us achieve the appearance we want so badly. And still others elect, after a lot of therapy and research, to undergo top and (sometimes) bottom surgery. Not having surgery does not make us "fake" and "attention grabbing". Being trans* is more than what's between our legs. It's how we feel, how we act, and what we know.

Saturday, 10 September 2011

Fitness Update for September

Weight loss for the last month has been very negligible, with only one pound lost since last month. My other measurements are a mixed bag, with four decreasing, one increasing, and three staying the same. Obviously, I'm not expecting my height to change, but it does give you an idea of where I'm at.

Height (=): 5 feet
Weight (-): 161 lbs
Waist (-): 36.75 inches
Thighs (+): 25.5 inches
Calves (=): 16 inches
Arms (-): 12.25 inches
Chest (without binder) (-): 37 inches
Neck (=): 13 inches

Again, my arm strength has increased. I am currently doing 25-30 reps of arm curls per arm with a weight of 2.5 kg per arm. I'm hoping I can get the reps up to 35 by next months update. I have stopped doing butterfly curls as I was unable to do them properly without having a proper workout bench. Instead, I am doing pullovers with a 2.5kg dumbbell. They seem to be working better than the butterfly curls, as in the 3 weeks I've been doing them, I have lost an inch from my chest area.

My main reasons for doing this fitness regime is to help build muscle and strength in my lower back and to decrease the size of my breasts. My lower back causes me quite a bit of pain and a physical therapist told me awhile back that if I can increase my strength in that area, it will help with the pain. My desire to make my breasts smaller is to help with the physical dysphoria that I experience as a bigender person. As someone who is both male and female gendered, I do not want to get female to male top surgery unless it is what I have to do in order to get rid of the dysphoria. If I can decrease my breast size enough with exercise so that they look enough like a male's chest at first glance, then that is the route I would rather take.

Daily Exercises:

Cardio: Either walking a minimum of 30 minutes a day OR playing a cardio-intensive game on the Kinect (i.e. Dance Central, UFC Trainer, Zumba Fitness) for 30 minutes or more.

Weights: Bicep Curls - 30 reps at 2.5 kg, gradually increasing up to 35 reps at 2.5 kgs per arm

Pullovers - 2 sets of 10 reps at 2.5 kg, gradually increasing up to 2 sets of 15 reps
1 set of 20 reps at 2.5 kg

Tuesday, 6 September 2011

Coming Out To Do List

Sorry about the long hiatus, everyone. The summer school holidays took up a lot of energy. Now that school has started again, I'm hoping to get this blog back on track.

First of all, for those who don't already know, I recently came out as being bigender. If you don't know what bigender is, check out my blog archives. My coming out video can be found on my youtube channel here.

I've come out to my closest friends, my family, and online peoples so far, in addition to a few of the organizations that my son and I are associated and involved with. There is quite a list left to do, though, so I've decided to type up a list here so I don't forget anything.

Send Deed Poll to:

  1. Virgin Media
  2. Electric/Gas Company
  3. General Practitioner (GP)
  4. Social Services
  5. Water Company
  6. Dentist
  7. Landlord
  8. Job Centre
  9. Council
  10. TV License

I think that's it, but if I think of anyone else, I'll add them to the list.