Thoughts on Gender

As is my wont through out the evening, I was clicking on various links on my Facebook and Twitter time lines when I came across this article on NYMag.com about Agender people. This article got me thinking about the huge spectrum of genders and how people's self-perception of their gender can change.*

Two Weeks In

It's been two weeks since starting T and so far so good. Early days yet, so very little changes to speak of. I'm drinking a lot of water - around 1-2 litres per day at the least plus tea (two mugs of regular and two mugs of decaf per day). My body odour has started to change a bit along with the smell of my urine.

3 Days on Testosterone

The trip to London went really well. I had reserved window seats in the Quiet coaches both ways with the added extra of being in 1st class on the way back.

Dr. Curtis was again very nice and supportive during my appointment and he answered all the questions that I had. We talked about getting a hysterectomy on the NHS sometime in future and getting top surgery privately. Both things were just mentioned a little as "next steps"; we'll go over my options in more detail the next time I go visit him. We also talked about different methods of taking T (sustanon, nebido, gel) and I stuck with my earlier decision to use the gel. Dr. Curtis went over how to use it and got three months supply out of his store.

Progress at Last

On the 2nd of February 2012, I travelled down to London for my first visit with Dr. Curtis. It went really well and I hope to see him again in March or April.

For those of you who don't recognise the name, Dr. Curtis is a private practitioner who specialises in trans gender treatment. He doesn't judge, doesn't ask trick questions, and is all in all a very personable yet professional guy.

The appointment itself was a typical assessment appointment. He asked me some questions about my childhood, how long I've felt that I am trans gender, and how I see myself. We talked about everything from the lack of education regarding trans gender issues amongst the NHS professionals to the weather to hormones and surgery. At the end of my hour long appointment, he gave me some papers which included a letter from him saying I am seeing him for treatment for transsexualism and an informed consent form which I will sign when he is ready to prescribe hormones.

The only things I am waiting for before I can make my next appointment are the letter from the psychiatrist stating I am in good mental health and my blood test results. Once I get both of them, I can make my 2nd appointment. Hopefully they won't take too long.

Regarding the NHS and Going Private

Today I made a phone call to Dr. Curtis in London. Dr. Curtis is a specialist in the private sector of transgender treatment and comes highly recommended in the transgender community for both FTMs and MTFs. My first consultation with him is on the 2nd of February 2012.

The decision to go with a private practitioner has not been taken lightly. Over the last nine months, I have done a lot of research on the internet looking through several transgender forums and talking with quite a few trans men and women about waiting times and treatment on the NHS. What I have found has been quite disheartening.  From GPs who don't know the NHS approved pathways to extremely long waiting times between each step of the pathway, the NHS, in my opinion, has failed trans men and women over and over again.

For me personally, there have been several shortcomings with the NHS. In April 2011, I came out to my GP who summarily dismissed it as being "a temporary mental issue" because I am dating a man. (After all, we know that trans men are always attracted to women and never to men, right?) In June, I changed GPs and came out to my new GP as bigender and trans. He was more supportive, but didn't have a clue what the PCT's pathway is nor who to refer me to. It took him a month to make a referral to the local community mental health team and a further six weeks (prodded by me making several phone calls at the 4 week mark) before I got sent my first consultation appointment during the month of September. My second appointment was rescheduled from October to November and I was then informed that I would have to attend a third appointment on the 23rd of January 2012 in order to get my referral to the Gender Identity Clinic.

Up to present time, my transition journey has taken nine months and I don't even have a referral letter in my hand as of yet. According to several people I have talked with, the waiting list to get seen at the Gender Identity Clinic is anywhere from 6 months to a year from referral and another 6 to 9 months before I get prescribed hormones. I am not willing to wait another year or longer just to get a simple hormone replacement prescription - a prescription might I add, that a male assigned at birth person can get in one or two months - therefore, I am going private with Dr. Curtis long enough to get prescribed testosterone and transfer that prescription over to my current GP. 

It is my hope that this blog or at the very least the message contained in this blog gets brought to the attention of someone in the NHS and results in change regarding how transgender people are treated.

Four Simple Questions: Part 4

Trans Media Action is having a "Trans Camp" at Channel Four on the 13th January 2012 and they are asking Transgender people to make short videos answering four questions. These videos will be played during the Trans Camp.

I've decided that doing this is a very good idea and am answering these questions. However, the videos must be no more than one minute in length, and those of you who know me know that I tend to waffle on in my videos! Thus, I am going to answer these questions here first to enable me to make my videos as short as possible.

The fourth question is "FAMILY: How have you experienced support, or lack of, from family and friends?"

When I first realised that I am transgender, the first people I came out to were my boyfriends. They are the most supportive persons I've ever met and have helped me in so many ways from helping me figure out what my clothing sizes are to being witnesses to my name change via deed poll.


I came out to my family and friends via a Youtube video this past August on my birthday. Everyone, including some I wasn't sure about, were and are very supportive, including using masculine pronouns. The most memorable message of support was from my Aunt who lives in the States. She declared, "I am not behind you in this, instead I stand proudly right beside you."


The amount of love, acceptance, and support that I have received in the few short months since coming out has truly inspired me.

Four Simple Questions: Part 3

Trans Media Action is having a "Trans Camp" at Channel Four on the 13th January 2012 and they are asking Transgender people to make short videos answering four questions. These videos will be played during the Trans Camp.

I've decided that doing this is a very good idea and am answering these questions. However, the videos must be no more than one minute in length, and those of you who know me know that I tend to waffle on in my videos! Thus, I am going to answer these questions here first to enable me to make my videos as short as possible.

The third question is "COMEDY: How do comedy portrayals of trans people affect you?"

To start, let me just say that I hate stereotypes and I hate them even more when comedy programmes portray them. To me, using stereotypes in comedy material is not only outdated but is also very infantile and immature. Yes, I'm aware that comedy in it's purest sense, is immature and it is this immaturity that the audience often finds funny. My question is "Are the use of these stereotypes really necessary?"

Think about it - stereotypes strip away the humanity of those being made fun of. And that's what it is - making fun of a group of people. To make a logical leap, when people witness a group being made fun of, what is their first reaction? Answer: to join in. This creates a loop and it often doesn't take much to nudge the "Let's make fun of this group" mentality to "Let's ridicule and abuse this group because they're different" mentality.

By all means, keep the comedy coming, but let's keep it real and get rid of outdated stereotypes, ok?

Four Simple Questions Part 2

Trans Media Action is having a "Trans Camp" at Channel Four on the 13th January 2012 and they are asking Transgender people to make short videos answering four questions. These videos will be played during the Trans Camp.

I've decided that doing this is a very good idea and am answering these questions. However, the videos must be no more than one minute in length, and those of you who know me know that I tend to waffle on in my videos! Thus, I am going to answer these questions here first to enable me to make my videos as short as possible.


The second question is: "MEDIA: How does media coverage of trans people affect you?"

As a transguy, I've found that the media barely mentions FTMs, or when they do, it's very fleeting or very stereotypical.

FTMs are often portrayed as straight (attracted to females only) bodybuilders who are into sports and drinking beers with the guys. We're not all like that though. For example, I'm not into sports at all and am attracted more towards masculine people - regardless of their actual gender or sexual characteristics.

It is my opinion that the media's representation of FTMs as beer-swilling, sports-involved, ladies-men feeds into the public mind that we're nothing but butch lesbians with penis envy and makes it difficult for people to take us seriously as transguys. I know I said this in my previous video, but the stereotyping needs to stop and there needs to be a wider portrayal of transpeople.  

Four Simple Questions Part 1

Trans Media Action is having a "Trans Camp" at Channel Four on the 13th January 2012 and they are asking Transgender people to make short videos answering four questions. These videos will be played during the Trans Camp.

I've decided that doing this is a very good idea and am answering these questions. However, the videos must be no more than one minute in length, and those of you who know me know that I tend to waffle on in my videos! Thus, I am going to answer these questions here first to enable me to make my videos as short as possible.

The first question is: "CHILDHOOD: For those of you who knew, what was it like growing up as a trans child?"

Now, I didn't know that I was trans* as a child, but I think that it's important that people are aware that not all trans* people knew they were trans* from childhood.

As a child, I was raised in a very conservative religious American town. The churches told us that being homosexual was a sin, but they didn't really touch on being transgender except to say that it was wrong for a man to dress like a woman. It wasn't until I moved to England that I learned what "transgender" is and it took 10 years of living here before I came to the realisation that I am Transgender - a Female to Male, genderqueer, Bigender person, to be exact. And I'm still learning and still figuring out what applies to me and what doesn't.

To sum up, a lot of transgender people knew from childhood that they were trans, but not all of us.

FTM Pathway for Halton and St Helens PCT

I received another email from the Interim Chief Operating Officer of Halton CCG today. In his email, he listed the Female to Male (FtM) core surgical procedures. These are the surgeries that are recommended for support and funding by PCTs in the North West of England.

The recommendation of the North West Specialised Commissioning Team is that PCTs support and fund the following core surgical procedures for female to male (FtM) patients where an application has been made by the patient’s clinician:

 

·         Mastectomy

·         Hysterectomy

·         Vaginectomy

·         Salpingo-oophorectomy

·         Metoidoplasty or phalloplasty

·         Urethroplasty

·         Scrotoplasty and placement of testicular prostheses

 

The recommended non-core procedures are not routinely funded.  Requests for funding on an individual case basis can be made and these requests are considered for funding by a PCT in line with existing local

policies for plastic surgery/cosmetic procedures.  It must be stressed that this list is not exhaustive and any other procedure not listed would be considered as non-core procedure until further review.  The following

are non-core procedures:

 

·         Breast augmentation in trans women

·         Reduction Thyroid chondroplasty

·         Rhinoplasty / other facial bone reduction

·         Blepharoplasty

·         Face-lift

·         Hair removal/ electrolysis

·         Body contouring – e.g. suction-assisted lipoplasty of the waist

·         Voice modification surgery

·         Procedures to decrease areas of baldness

·         Storage of gametes

·         Skin resurfacing -  e.g. acid peel (a method of removing the upper layer of skin in order to improve skin smoothness)

 As you can see, mastectomies are considered to be a core surgical procedure for FtMs and PCTs are supposed to fund them.

He also attached a document which details the pathways for transgender people. You can find it after the jump, but be warned that it seems to be out of date in regards to the Gender Identity Clinics that are listed. The document lists Leeds Becklin Centre and Claybrook Centre in London. This is incorrect. The current GICs are located at Seacroft Hospital in Leeds and Charing Cross (CHX) in London.

I have emailed my contact asking for further clarification and will post another blog entry when I receive it.

Transgender Care Path for Halton & St Helens PCT

A couple of weeks ago, I emailed Halton & St Helen's PCT asking why my GP told me that the PCT had not instructed him to follow the Standards of Care for Transgender people as written by the WPATH.

Today I received an email from the Interim Chief Operating Officer of Halton CCG, located at Victoria House in Runcorn, Cheshire, replying to my inquiry which details the basic care path that Halton & St Helens PCT follows. Here is that email:

There is no single universally accepted pathway for patients with gender dysphoria.  There is a recommended pathway that has been established by the North West Specialised Commissioning Team which we follow locally – work in which I was involved in when I worked with that team.  This is based upon the WPATH Standards of Care, often referred to as the Harry Benjamin criteria.  The recommended pathway can be summarised as follows:

 

·       Patient sees his/her General Practitioner for assessment and management of gender dysphoria. The GP refers the patient to a local specialist in gender dysphoria where that is available or to the local NHS mental health provider for access to further evaluation.

 

·       Patient is assessed by the local NHS psychiatrist, who may or may not be an expert in the field of gender dysphoria.  If the local psychiatrist considers the case to merit further evaluation and can rule out the presence of an obvious mental illness that may be the cause of the symptoms of gender dysphoria, the patient is referred on to the Gender Identity Clinic (GIC).

 

·       Depending on the operational policy of the GIC confirmation of funding may be requested from the patient’s PCT before an outpatient appointment is made. It is important to note that the PCT making the decision need to be aware that there could be a surgical cost at the end of the pathway and that this could be several years in the future.

 

·       The Gender Identity Clinic - Experts in gender dysphoria assess the patient and initiate Real Life Experience (RLE), prescribing hormones and monitoring the patient, usually in partnership with the patients own GP.  During this period, patients may additionally require psychotherapy, speech therapy, group sessions and other interventions.  After 12-24 months of assessment, the patient is seen by two consultants (one of whom has not previously been involved with the care and treatment of the particular patient, acting as a second opinion) for a final assessment to judge if the patient is suitable for surgery.  If the patient is considered suitable and is personally ready for surgery, a referral is made to the preferred provider for consideration of Gender Reassignment Surgery (GRS). 

 

·       The provider of GRS requests confirmation of funding for surgery from the patient’s PCT and provides an outpatient surgical consultation appointment once funding is confirmed.

 

·       The PCT considers the request for funding and once it is ensured that the patient meets the criteria, confirms funding for GRS.

 

·       Patient undergoes appropriate GRS and returns to follow-up with GIC.

 

·       Patient discharged from GIC when appropriate and returns to primary care for maintenance hormone therapy and monitoring, if appropriate.

 

You will have to travel for aspects of this care, such as assessment at a GIC and, should you wish to have surgery, for surgical interventions, as there are no local services due to the specialised nature of the interventions you require.  You should, however, expect support from your GP in terms of arranging ‘shared care’ and local monitoring working in partnership with GIC to minimise travel to and from these centres.

 

To summate, Halton GPs are following the WPATH Standards of Care and recommended pathways based upon these.  This said, there is clearly a need for improved liaison between the services providing specialised interventions and your GP to enable them to deliver as much care to you locally as possible.

 This path, as outlined above, is missing one thing though. According to my sources, Halton & St Helens PCT refuses to fund the top surgery for both FTMs and MTFs. Knowing this, I emailed a reply back asking if this was true and to be given the PCTs policy on funding for surgery. When/if I get a response, I will post it up here. 

If you have any questions, please comment below and I will either answer them (if I know the answer) or will forward them to my contact in the Halton CCG. 

Transgender, Judgement, and Hate

Originally, I was going to blog about my usual boring stuff - life, drawing, crocheting, how my son Paul has been enjoying school and so on. However, I've been chatting off and on (sort of) with Peter LaBarbera on Twitter about Transgenders and sex reassignment surgery and figured I would share it with you.

You may have heard of Peter LaBarbera. He is the founder of Americans for the Truth About Homosexuality (aftah.org). Don't let the name fool you, AFTAH has been named a hate group by the Southern Poverty Law Centre, and the only "truth" they seem to want to spread is telling everyone who will listen that homosexuals are godless, immoral, and want to turn everyone gay and get rid of Christianity.

The conversation started when I commented on a fellow transgender's video, congratulating them on starting hormones. Peter responded with a link to Sexchangeregret.com. The person who runs this website is "ex-transexual" Walt Heyer. Mr. Heyer, at first glance, seems to have the transgender person's best interests at heart. On his many websites (he has at least two that I've found, plus a blog, and a youtube channel), he seems to be warning about "sex change regret" which is when a transgender person undergoes gender reassignment surgery and regrets it afterwards.

This, in and of itself, is not a bad thing. Sex change regret does sometimes happen and transgender people need to be educated and told exactly what will and will not happen as a result of gender reassignment surgery. Where Walt Heyer goes wrong, and what raised a ton of red flags, is that not only is he highly recommended by the founder of a recognized hate group, but on his websites, he falsifies facts and statistics about suicide rates amongst transgender people.

On his website, tradingmysorrows.com for example, he states that suicide in transgender groups is over 40% (i.e. 4 out of 10 transgender people commit suicide). And he insinuates that this is a direct result of gender reassignment surgery. This is totally false. Yes, there is a suicide rate of 40% amongst transgenders, but this is amongst those who are denied treatment, who are rejected by their peers and family, and are forced to live a lie about who they really are.

In his blog, waltheyer.typepad.com, Walt Heyer links to outdated articles to "prove" his points. The tone he uses in this blog is very judgemental, condescending, and hateful. This hateful and judgemental attitude is very apparent in his entry "Bono, the Poser Transgender" wherein he slanders Chaz Bono, Cher's transgender son, saying that

"The media has been a salivating co-conspirator in advancing little Missy Bono's big fat lie that she is a transgender, when she is not."

He bases his reasoning on this by then insinuating that because Chaz Bono has opted to not undergo genital surgery, he is not a real transgender and is faking it for attention.

As a transgender person, I know what my gender is. There is no doubt in my mind that I am bigender. I am not female, I am not male. I am both and neither. What Peter LaBarbera and Walt Heyer don't seem to understand is that transgender people don't take hormones, don't undergo surgery to become a "man" or a "woman"; we do it because we are already a man or a woman and want our bodies to reflect that.

Gender Dysphoria is very real and very uncomfortable. For some of us, dressing as the gender we feel we are is enough to keep it at bay. For others, hormones are needed and wanted to help us achieve the appearance we want so badly. And still others elect, after a lot of therapy and research, to undergo top and (sometimes) bottom surgery. Not having surgery does not make us "fake" and "attention grabbing". Being trans* is more than what's between our legs. It's how we feel, how we act, and what we know.

Coming Out To Do List

Sorry about the long hiatus, everyone. The summer school holidays took up a lot of energy. Now that school has started again, I'm hoping to get this blog back on track.

First of all, for those who don't already know, I recently came out as being bigender. If you don't know what bigender is, check out my blog archives. My coming out video can be found on my youtube channel here.

I've come out to my closest friends, my family, and online peoples so far, in addition to a few of the organizations that my son and I are associated and involved with. There is quite a list left to do, though, so I've decided to type up a list here so I don't forget anything.

Send Deed Poll to:

1. Virgin Media
2. Electric/Gas Company
3. General Practitioner (GP)
4. Social Services
5. Water Company
6. Dentist
7. Landlord
8. Job Centre
9. Council
10. TV License

I think that's it, but if I think of anyone else, I'll add them to the list.

Trans* and Genderqueer Categories Part 6

Tonight is the last actual article in this series. It's been fun, and I've learned a thing or two while doing my research for each article.

The final entry is Bigender. Bigendered people may be considered to be part of both the Transgender and Genderqueer categories. This is partly because of what it is and how those who are bigendered live their lives.

Bigendered people are under the Genderqueer umbrella because they are mentally both male and female. Often this manifests itself as "modes". Sometimes a bigendered person will be in "male mode" and will dress, act, feel, and otherwise present themselves as male. Other times they will be in "female mode" and will present as such.

They are under the Transgender category because often, to help with their sense of gender dysphoria, they will undergo some form of gender reassignment. This often includes things such as hormones.

Most bigendered people prefer the opposite  birth gender pronouns. So if the person was born a female, they will prefer that people call them "he", if male, then "she". But this is not always the case and depends on the individual person. If you are in doubt, then ask them which pronouns they prefer. Trust me - they won't mind you asking.

I'm going to end this article with two videos made by bigendered people. The first one is by Brin and she talks about dysphoria. In the second video, Sydney gives a very good illustration about what Bigender is.

Trans* and Genderqueer Categories Part 5

Only two more articles in this "in-depth" series to go! Have you enjoyed the articles so far? Have you learned anything? I hope the answer to both questions is "yes".

Today I'm going to attempt to say what the term "GenderQueer" is and how people who identify as such see themselves. I say "attempt", because it can get quite confusing.

Genderqueer, in a nutshell, is non-binary. People who are genderqueer do not identify as either a man or a woman, but rather a mixture of the two or totally outside the gender binary "norms". People who identify as Genderqueer may think of themselves as being both a man and a woman, neither male nor female, moving between genders, or being part of a third gender.

Some genderqueers go through transition in some degree or another by taking hormones or having surgery (either top or bottom or both) to make their body outwardly look the way that they feel in their minds. Some don't. Both are okay. Some genderqueers prefer to be addressed by gender-neutral pronouns such as "ze", "hir", "they", "their". Others prefer the more conventional binary pronouns such as "he" and "her". It's really up to personal choice.

Genderqueer is seen as freedom from conventional binary genders that society has placed on us. Everyone is seen as equal, because no one is better than any one else.

I'll leave you with a quote from genderqueer person:

"I don't know if I'm male or female or both or neither. All I know is that when I'm filling out a form and it makes me choose "male" or "female", I really want to tell it to f*ck off."

This Should Not Be Happening

Sadly, it is.

Where do people get the idea that it's ok to verbally bash others? Why do people think it's their "god-given right" to make people feel terrible about themselves and guilty because of who they happen to be attracted to and love?

No one has that right. Your right to speak out about your beliefs ends at my right to live a happy life. If something that you say takes away my right to live safely, happily, and equally to everyone else, then you don't have the right to say it.

Think before you speak. Because if you say something like the guy in this video and it causes someone to hate themselves, causes them to hide who they really are, then you're hurting them and their misplaced guilt is on your hands.

Humans are humans. And all humans have the right to live their lives with the same freedoms and the same rights. It's called equality. If a woman loves another woman and they want to get married, then let them. If two men and a woman love each other and all three of them want to get married, then let them. If a woman feels like she should be able to pass as both a male and a female in public, then more power to her!

It's called EQUALITY, and equality can not be given to just a few. It's all or nothing.